Dark Wings Dark WordsIndex | Time Under Chaos | Game Logs | DarkWingsDarkWords (Continued from Tea Party At Five Corners -Tear)) (Continued from The Constant Diplomat -Ingrey) A trio of yellow and orange sandstone buildings stood out against the hilly skyline, framed by Kolvir's sheer wall of stone. Tear had been to the Chaosian Embassy on dozens of occasions, but its sheer scope and majesty never ceased to amaze her. A glorious wonder of Mitanni stonemasonry, the complex filled her with confidence and pride every time she walked its paths and hallways. Until today. Now it served as a stark reminder of the last two days. Two days filled with Truths she'd have preferred to have never known. Away from the distracting safety of her home and friends, the young woman could no longer ignore the memories that walked alongside her. She could feel the demon within fighting to get out, its dark rage fueled by the echoes of pain now twisting her thoughts. A part of her wanted to let it out again, to wear that hideous mask of feathers and twisted flesh again. To lose herself in the fury of the betrayed. The shadow of the Great Seal fell upon her like a cold accusation, as if it sensed the turmoil within. A shiver passed through her tiny body. "What am I doing here?" she muttered to herself. A man in business attire paused, thinking she'd addressed him. However, one glimpse of the darkness behind her violet eyes sent him scurrying on his way. For that she was thankful. The less people she had to deal with now, the better. If it were not for Ingrey's kindness, she would not be here to return it in kind. If there was to be a war, then he should hear about it from her lips rather than some soulless communiqué. She took a deep breath and entered the administrative building. Tear wandered through its majestic halls like a ghost until she reached the offices of Ingrey Wererathe. She rapped on the door lightly before stepping into his foyer. "Hello?" Ren, Ingrey's admirable assistant, looked up and smiled. "Baroness Helgram! May I assist you?" Tear smiled timidly and stepped into the room. She smoothed her dress and gave Ren a nervous shrug. Why she got bashful around Ingrey's assistant, she still didn't understand. Perhaps she never would. There was just something so—casually regal—about her. A quality Tear found herself envious of from the first day they'd met. "I'd like to speak to the ambassador if I could, Madame Ren," she said. "I've just returned from Chaos and I think I need to report into him. About many things. Is he. Available?" "He has someone with him at the moment," said Ren. "I'm sure he won't be long if you don't mind waiting." "Not at all," Tear said. She found herself a comfortable place to sit, resting her hands over her lap nervously. As she waited, her eyes studied every detail of the office, searching for anything that might have changed since her last visit. It was a memory game she played with herself now and again; one used to focus her jumbled thoughts. Today, she found it incredibly difficult to concentrate. She noticed Ren watching her and smiled faintly. Ren continued to work, glancing up from time to time to favour Tear with a friendly smile. After the fourth smile, Tear opened her mouth as if to say something. The silence hung there momentarily like a bird trying to decide where to land. She blushed brightly and then shrugged. "Madame Ren?" she said. "Can I ask you something? Something personal?" Ren set down her pen with a smile, (the demon trapped in the inkstand heaved an audible sigh of relief). "Of course, my dear," said Ren. "What is it?" Tear stood up and crossed over to the desk; as much to speak more privately with Ren as to get a closer look at the rather neat 'ink-well.' She folded her hands in front of her, almost defensively. "Do you miss it?" she said. "Chaos, I mean. After living here as long as you have. Do you ever want to go back there?" "Oh my word," said Ren. "Yes. All the time." The longing was evident in her voice. Tear nodded faintly, "May. May we speak of it some time? You and I? You've always been kind to me. And. Impartial. I'd trust what you have to say. And perhaps…" But the thought disappeared as she heard movement near Ingrey's office door. A few moments later, a dark haired woman emerged from Ingrey's office and soon departed the office entirely without saying a word. A half minute, after Ren answered, Ingrey poked his head out of the entrance to his office. His eyes alighted upon Tear. "Baroness. Thank you for your patience," He said with a smile. "Please, won't you come in?" Tear gave Ren a gentle, hopeful, smile and bid her farewell for now. She walked into Ingrey's office, as skittish as a fawn venturing into a wolf's den. "Ambassador," she said, bowing her head. "Thank you for seeing me. I. I'm sorry I didn't give you more warning. It's been a troubling day." She took her favorite seat and waited for him to close the door. "It has been a troubling day, since you've reverted to using my title." Ingrey said, slightly bemused. He closed the door and returned to the chair behind his desk, and sat down. "Now, what brings you to my door?" Ingrey asked gently. "More trouble," Tear said, knitting her fingers and wriggling her thumbs. She couldn't bear to look him in the eye. "I just returned from Chaos. And a great many terrible things. Occurred while I was there. Terrible things. And I think you should know about them. That and I need your help. If you're willing. I know. You're in a precarious position. Her violet eyes shone, finally touching his. "Lady Fiona was attacked. By Lord Sawall. He cut off her hand for some insult. Master Jurt healed her. But the attack has caused…" She worried her lip. "I think they might use this as an excuse for war. And right now. That's the least of their worries I think, sir." Tear's eyes began to water as the suppressed tension began to break through the dam she'd built around it. Ingrey rose at this point and walked around the desk to a point closer to her chair. He slouched against the desk so that her level was now level, or even a little higher than his. Ingrey reached out with a hand and briefly, like a nervous bird, put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Once he withdrew it, he regarded her. "There is something more you want to tell me, even worse than a Vendetta War." Ingrey said. "It's all right Tear," he said. "Please, tell me." It was the touch that did it. Until that moment, Tear had been holding everything bound together in web of icy logic. But Ingrey's kindness melted that snare of frost and emotion as readily as the sun burning away the morning fog. She fell forward, wrapping her arms around him, clutching him with a frightful strength for her small stature. He could feel the hot tears stain his shoulder as she spoke in a barrage of sobs and words. Ingrey balanced himself and her, mirroring her arms about him by holding her gently in place in the circuit of his own arms. "Oh Ingrey. It's hurt. It's in so much pain. And no one cares! It was calling to me. It needed me. And they. They. I tried to fight them. I nearly killed Mandor's daughter. And. And. Now I don't know what to do! He lied to me. About everything. I'm just a freak and a lie." "Gently, gently," Ingrey said, taking a smooth and gentle tone that he usually had to use with much older visitors and potentates than the young, troubled Tear. But the fundamentals were all the same. "What is hurt and in pain?" Ingrey asked. "And everything else. Tell me your story, Tear." Ingrey urged her, gently, calmly. "I'm here to listen, and to help." Tear responded well to Ingrey's soothing voice, her sobs fading into sniffles. She offered him an apologetic smile and dried her red cheeks. "The Logrus, Ingrey," she said. "It's hurt. I don't know how. But it called to me when I went there. I could hear it in my head. And that's why they had to. Stop me from reaching it." Ingrey gave her a comforting squeeze. He tilted his head slightly to listen more closely. She wrung her hands and shivered. "The Logrus watched over me when I was a baby. My mother tried to. Sacrifice me to it. But it. Just held me for days. Protected me. But Master Suhuy says it might hurt me if I go near it again. Because it's hurt and because of our connection." Ingrey parted his lips and exhaled in surprise at Tear's admission. Tear gazed up at him, the violet in her eyes appearing to swirl and dance in the light. "And that's why Mandor took me in. I'm a freak. An experiment. Nothing more than an anomaly. I need to get away from him. Now that he knows I've learned the truth. He will never let me go." "No, you aren't a freak, or an experiment." Ingrey said softly. "No." he shook his head and looked at her, his unchanging blue eyes looking into her swirling violet. "If anything, according to the tenets of my own personal belief." Ingrey said. "You are not a freak, an experiment, or mad. You are...holy." Tear blinked numbly, pursing her lips at his words. Embarrassment flushed over her face in waves of crimson. Her mouth worked soundlessly for a moment, as her hands fluttered in her lap like a wounded bird. Finally, her tongue caught up with her confused thoughts. "Holy?" Ingrey nodded, his face drained of anything but utter sincerity and solemnity. She laughed nervously. "I don't understand what you mean." The color in her eyes began to settle like silt upon a lake bottom, still and dark. Tear bit her lip, searching his face for answers. If anything, she appeared to be almost reverent of him, as if he were some icon of hope and understanding. Tear's reverent look unnerved Ingrey somewhat. It wasn't the first time that someone had regarded him with such a look; indeed Ingrey had once been mistaken as a deity. But it was unnerving for the young sorceress to do it. His hands moved to her shoulders and stayed there. Tear continued to gaze up at him with the frightened innocence of a child. She touched his left hand as it lay on her shoulder, drawing further comfort from its contact. "There is more than one path to the Serpent," Ingrey said. "I do not speak of my religious beliefs overmuch, but suffice it to say that I have a personal and individual relationship with the Ophidian Lord and his works. For you to have been given to the Logrus and survive...that is something extraordinary, Tear. Forget the Prime Minister's machinations, forget even what motivated your mother to do such a thing for a moment. You were given to the Logrus, and it returned you unharmed." Ingrey let out a breath. "No wonder you have preternatural abilities with the Logrus, and with sorcery. You have been touched by the work of our God in a fundamental way. So I stand by my word and all who worship the Serpent as I do would use the same. Holy." Tear snorted incredulously and opened her mouth to dismiss this ridiculous statement. But then she noticed the solemnity in Ingrey's expression and thought better of it. Her eyes flicked for a moment, as she weighed his words in her mind. A dozen emotions danced across her pale features before settling into a mask of befuddlement. "I guess," she said in a whisper. She cocked her head. "It might explain why people in Chaos got nervous that I was there. If that's the reaction. I'm not sure if I want to be holy." She squeezed his fingers. "I want to help it. The Logrus, I mean. But Master Suhuy says it'd be dangerous for me. That. It would take me over. He's willing to train me. But I'm not sure if Master Mandor will allow it. I think…" Ingrey bent his head slightly in her direction, showing that he was listening to every word carefully. Tear's small form shivered under Ingrey's hands, as if all strength were draining out of it. "I think he's been lying to me about many things. Guiding me to become. A pet. Of sorts. And with his House involved in a war. He'll want me nearby. What can I do?" "You have to be true to yourself, Tear. To yourself." Ingrey regarded Tear, his solemn mien melting to a more compassionate countenance on his face. "I told you once, to trust but to verify. If Mandor is truly lying to you, and making you his creature, his weapon, his tool, rather than his student, then you must do what your heart says, even if your lips do not. "If Mandor would weave a cage about you, you must seek to escape it." Ingrey said. "Especially before it becomes too complete for even you to slip out of." Tear balanced on his every word, as if standing upon a sword's edge. He'd known her long enough to see the unfamiliar resolve blossoming within her eyes. On any other day, she would have curled in on herself; blanketed herself in denial. But not today. Something had changed in her, despite the tears and confusion. She balled her fists and stared up at him. "He thinks I'll just stay," she said, venom tainting her voice. "He even thinks I'm going to write a report for him. About the events in Chaos. I. I need to make a statement. I need to show him that I'm not his little 'thing' anymore. But first, shouldn't I get my family to safety. Maybe in Rebma? He'd hurt them to get to me. Wouldn't he?" Although she'd asked the question, as Ingrey had said, her heart already knew the answer. "The Prime Minister did not achieve his position without audacity and ruthlessness." Ingrey replied gravely. "As far as the question of safety, I am afraid, Baroness, safety is something that may be well in short supply. Not only in Chaos with the Vendetta War that you have mentioned, but here as well, and I do not mean only the plans and machinations of the Prime Minister." "A relation of yours from the Courts has come to Amber." Ingrey continued. "Duke Uther Helgram." Tear shivered instinctively. She'd read enough about her family's history to recognize the name. Although she'd never encountered Uther, she knew of his sinister reputation; enough to be unsettled by his presence. And yet, an odd smile stirred on her thin lips, almost playful in its shaping. "He's here? Now?" she asked. "May I meet him?" "He appeared at the Embassy this morning, in his usual cloak of dark fog." Ingrey said. "And after a meeting with him and Her Excellency, he disappeared in the same manner. He's somewhere around, that's for certain, since he has been given a charge by the Emperor to be here. Precisely where he is at the moment, I don't know." Ingrey explained. "I will see him again, however." Ingrey added. "And soon." "I would like to arrange a meeting with him," Tear said softly. "It is time I strengthened the relations with my House. And its representatives. If I am. Truly a baroness. It's time to act like one. Perhaps cleanse some of the shame from my mother's… actions." Ingrey made a small nod of the head. "I will bring up the matter with him when I see him next. I warn you that he may not accept. The Duke is saturine and humorless, in the best of moods." "Tell him Mandor's former apprentice wishes to speak with him," Tear said with a hint of authority. "That might intrigue him enough." "Yes, although Mandor is not held in high regard by the Duke. Such an affiliance, however, would attract his attention." Ingrey agreed. "I might counsel that such a meeting, however, be chaperoned." Tear blinked and stared at him. "Well yes. You'd be there. Wouldn't you?" "If that would be your choice, of course." Ingrey said with a nod. She sighed faintly and turned over her palms; the skin pale and featureless as vellum. Tear contemplated them for a moment, as if reading some unseen missive. With a sharp movement, she glanced up at him. "You should know that Mandor's daughter and her companion arrived with me. As well as Lady Tasha Minobee. She is staying in my guesthouse for the time being. You may wish to meet her. She's very nice. Her mother hates me. But Tasha is nice enough. I think her and Master Jurt are. Close." Ingrey's eyes widened at Tear's information. He parted his lips as if to speak or to ask a question but Tear's gesture kept him from doing so. Tear cocked her head, "Do you approve of my relationship with Vikund?" Ingrey looked at her calmly, although it took a few moments for him to answer. "I don't know the details of your relationship with him to judge," Ingrey said. "What sort of relationship do you have with him?" he asked. "Only if I am to know the truth, can I tell you if I approve of such a relationship, or not." "We're…" Tear began and then stopped; the words dying on her tongue. She sighed and let her shoulders fall. "I don't know really. I love him. I wanted to marry him. But he doesn't want me. Not. That way. I think I'm. An escape for him. A welcome distraction. I wish I were more." Ingrey made small nods of the head as he listened. She shrugged and knitted her fingers tightly together. "I've never been in love before this. So, I wouldn't know what 'this' really is. And now. Knowing how close he is to the Master. I'm wondering…" Tear pursed her lips and refused to say the words, leaving them hanging in the air. Her eyes snapped up to meet his; having realized something. "Do you know Helena and the others? And Helena is fine. They saved her before. I hurt her too badly."" Ingrey gently squeezed Tear's right shoulder. "Do not blame yourself overmuch for what you might have done to her." She reached up and touched his hand, providing him a doubtful, but appreciative smile. Her hand remained upon his, as soft as a kiss. "As far as knowing them, I am acquainted with Helena Barimen-Ishtar, as it so happens. And, yet again, I have met Tasha of House Minobee," Ingrey said with a smile briefly flickering across his face. "You mentioned, though, that Helena had a companion. Who is that?" "Amba of House Heldt," Tear replied. "She's very quiet and pretty. And… dangerous. She. Used some kind of blood magic on me. She had little choice. But…" Her fingers tighten around Ingrey's and her tiny body shivers with revulsion. She closed her eyes and tried to push the memory away and settle the queasiness in her stomach. Ingrey looked slightly alarmed, but his eyes registered recognition at the name that Tear gave. She waved her free hand, dismissively. "They're. Partners. Helena and her. I'm pretty sure, anyway." She snorted sharply, her eyes flickering with violet lightening. The storm passed so quickly, it was if it had never been there to begin with. "I met Amba separately from Helena." Ingrey said. "On an errand for my own House, I was asked to pay a call on Amba's patroness in House Heldt." "For all of Chaos being large, I suppose I must consider myself well connected, for you to bring to me news that three scions of different Houses are connected with each other, and in addition are coming here. I knew not of Amba's blood magic, only that she clearly has tactical and physical talents beyond the ordinary. Her Sword Dancing skills are Known, after all." Tear nodded lightly, "I was lucky, I think. Caught them off-guard. I'd not like to meet them in an arena." She stood up and then sat down on the table beside Ingrey. She rested her head against his shoulder with a despondent sigh. Her hand sought his, pulling it into her lap, where she lightly brushed it with her fingers, as one might pet a cat. Ingrey allowed the gesture, turning up to regard Tear as they continued to speak. With his free hand, Ingrey reached for and took a sip of the cooling mug of dragon tea. "Well, I think that's everything that happened. They're having dinner tonight. All of them. I don't think I'm going. I've had enough 'family' for one day." "Her Excellency will be most disappointed if the Embassy does not receive an invitation." Ingrey said. "The fact that we were not appraised of their arrival is impolite at best. "Although you do not intend to go, were you made welcome to attend, Tear?" Ingrey enquired. "Uh-huh," Tear said with a nod. "I think it's supposed to be a 'family' thing. In other words, the chance for Mandor to show off his daughters. And all their flaws, I'm sure." She thought for a moment and then raised her chin. "Maybe Her Excellency could go in my place? I'm supposed to be there. He pretty much demanded it. In his own way. Or. I could take her. If she'd want. That might help me too. Showing him I'm not completely his pet. Tear's eyes flickered with hope. "Would she want to be my guest, maybe?" Ingrey shook his head, but he had an amused look on his face. "No, I don't think that her Excellency would wish to attend, not even in your august company, Baroness." Ingrey replied. "Paloma likes her independence, and to attend functions at the Castle when it is necessary and at her own choosing, rather than merely for the society of the Prime Minister. No, if the Embassy is to be represented, Paloma would much rather have the officer who is tasked with such visits present. Or at the very least, she would want to attend the dinner along with that officer. And that officer, I should think, would be honored to be your guest." Ingrey smiled. "That officer is myself." Tear grinned softly and laced her fingers in with his. "Thank you. I'd love to take you," she said. "And for you. I'd go. You've always been kind to me. I owe you so much. And it'll be easier if you're there. I always feel safer with you around. I don't know why. But I do. I like that feeling." A coy smile curled the corner of her cupid bow lips. "Besides. Vikund should be there. I think he needs to see me on the arm of a handsome man. Especially one I've had feelings for." Her ears and cheeks flared crimson and she quickly slipped her hands from his. Tear hopped down off the desk and looked up at Ingrey. "I. I need to check on some things first. But meet me at my home tonight? We can ride to the castle together. I should. Wear something special. I'll need to buy a dress. With all those pretty women there. I'll look like a frump, if I don't." She stood on her tiptoes and lightly kissed Ingrey's cheek. "Until tonight," she said and hurried off, chattering to herself in Russian. Her hands fluttered like starlings in flight as she walked out the door, lost in her thoughts. [Continued in Shadow Play ] |
